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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 26/05/2005 : 10:59:03 AM
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It is said that there is a magic mirror in Malacaņang that slaps anybody who tells a lie. Sen. Juan Flavier passed by the mirror and said "I think I'm tall," and the mirror slapped him. Then came Vice President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. "I think I'm the prettiest woman in the Cabinet," and the mirror slapped her. Then passed President Erap and said "I think . . .," and the mirror slapped him.
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Super Bait talaga si boss Erap!!! After work nag-lilibre kung mahusay ang takbo ng araw. Boss Erap: Okay boys!! We had a good day today, so lets celebrate Da boys: Talaga naman palang okey si bosing. Nagpunta Sila sa isang mamahaling Diskohan sa makati.. wow!! Pagdating nila sa disco, hindi na sila pumila dahil kasama si bosing Erap. Bosing Erap: Wait boys!! SAndali.. Hindi pwede. Biglang pahinto si Erap. Da boyz: eh bakit boss.. huwats wrong (pabulong ng isa kay bosing erap) Bosing Erap: eh sabi ng Karatula "21 and above". Da boyz: bakit boss!! Erap: Sasampu lang tayo eh..
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SHORTEST ERAP JOKE:
In one of his speeches he said:
"The Philippines now is a country of technocrat exporter. We export accountants, nurses, doctors, engineers, domestic helpers, and computer programmers. We send our best minds abroad. This is why I am the president!" (hindi siya puwedeng i-export!)
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Erap was asked by a grade schooler to test his English ability.
Kids : Use Deduct, Defense, Detail & Defeat in a sentence.
Erap : (after 15 minutes of silence) DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE, DEFEAT first, then DETAIL!!
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One day young Erap came running to his mother and say:
Erap: Inay nakatipid po ako ng P1.50!
Mother: Bakit?
Erap: Kasi po hindi ako sumakay ng dyip. Tumakbo na lang ako sinabayan ko na lang yung dyip.
And her mother suddenly shout!
Mother: Eh bobo ka pala eh! Kung Taxi ang sinabayan mo eh di naka tipid ka ng masmalaki!
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erap was going to withdraw some cash from an atm, but there was a japanese gut in front of him who looked really rich. The japanese withdrew his cash and was about to leave when erap suddenly stopped him to say something. Erap: I know what your password is. Japanese guy: what is it? Erap: you dont know your own password? you just pressed it! Japanese guy: what is it? Erap: eh, di, asterisk asterisk asterisk!!(***)
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ERAP: Nakakahiya!
JINGGOY: Bakit Dad?
ERAP: Sabi sa invitation black tie only, pagdating ko dun, may suot din pala silang polo at pantalon!
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ERAP's WISDOM:
1) if the cat is away the mouse is alone
2) if others can, don't help
3) don't talk to strangers if your mouth is full
4) don't count the eggs if they are not yours
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Erap's Friend : offering the president a box of VIAGRA.
Erap : Di ko kailangan yan, merong mas effective dyan.
Friend : Ano yun sir?
Erap : MAALOX, tingnan mo ang sabi sa label, ANTIGAS, O di ba!
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ERAP: (singing) "Mile away . . . . you're so many mile away from me . . ."
LOI: Hon, lagyan mo ng letter "s"!
ERAP: Smile away, you're so many smile away from me . . ."
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
Edited by - bebe_gurl on 26/05/2005 11:03:04 AM |
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kRiSTiNnE
Superstar
Virgin Islands (United Kingdom)
1064 Posts |
Posted - 27/05/2005 : 10:45:54 AM
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grabeeeeeee ang hahaba nman..
If all else fail
Would you be there to love me?
When all else fails
Would you be brave to see right through me?
 http://buhaypusa.blogspot.com/ |
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magan-daak-o
Global Moderator
Korea
294 Posts |
Posted - 27/05/2005 : 7:20:54 PM
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ikaw yen a. idol mo pala si erap.
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 28/05/2005 : 08:27:50 AM
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ang tamad m tlga tinne...
franz, mahilg ako sa erap jokes noh hehehe
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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kRiSTiNnE
Superstar
Virgin Islands (United Kingdom)
1064 Posts |
Posted - 28/05/2005 : 11:33:37 AM
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ingat lang baka gayahin mo yang idol mo..
If all else fail
Would you be there to love me?
When all else fails
Would you be brave to see right through me?
http://buhaypusa.blogspot.com/ |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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kRiSTiNnE
Superstar
Virgin Islands (United Kingdom)
1064 Posts |
Posted - 29/05/2005 : 12:55:48 PM
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^dami mong nsabe..
If all else fail
Would you be there to love me?
When all else fails
Would you be brave to see right through me?
http://buhaypusa.blogspot.com/ |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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histrionic
Superstar
Philippines
1320 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 04:07:07 AM
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ang gaganda ng mga jokes,..keep 'em coming,..:)
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 his new car,..mas mahal pa daw nya yan kesa sakin,..taeness!!!,..hehe,.. |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 3:20:24 PM
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o kayo naman mag joke
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 3:29:32 PM
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ako n lng mag joke..
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
2
2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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kRiSTiNnE
Superstar
Virgin Islands (United Kingdom)
1064 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2005 : 1:10:55 PM
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wag ka nman mgpost ng mhaba..
If all else fail
Would you be there to love me?
When all else fails
Would you be brave to see right through me?
http://buhaypusa.blogspot.com/ |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
Posted - 05/06/2005 : 09:24:15 AM
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hhaha sa joke ni yen
tinne magbasa ka kaya ka bumagsak sa reading comprehension eh
http://malaine.blogspot.com |
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 05/06/2005 : 11:23:19 AM
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ONGA NAMAN TINNE
PRA MAHASA KA NA DN SA SPELLING
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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Joke Time!!!
