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n3l02len
Global Moderator
China
1099 Posts |
Posted - 11/04/2005 : 4:15:02 PM
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wahahahhahha teka cno si spooly....bwahahahahha
nd nakarelate
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magan-daak-o
Global Moderator
Korea
294 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2005 : 11:45:40 AM
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yen isama mo na rin ung banana joke mo.. =))
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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histrionic
Superstar
Philippines
1320 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2005 : 5:45:44 PM
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itong joke na toh, may mapupulot kayong aral!,..
hehe,..
A ten-year old kid approached his father in a coffee break
"Dad, what is politics?"
His dad was silent for a minute and uttered.."It's like this.. Your mom, Yaya Sita, You, your little brother and I will be the whole country. I'm the government since I earn the money like the BIR.. you know.. collecting taxes from the people. Your mom will be the administration since she's in charge of the house, our country! Yaya Sita is our worker, right? so she have the title, "workers", and you'll represent the people while your little brother is the youth."
The kid crumpled his forehead... Later that night.. as in late at night his little brother went to the bathroom and pooped. He doesn't know how to wash his bro, who's now looking helpless and yelling. He went to yaya's room but he found his Dad on top of his Yaya Sita's naked body. So he went to the master's bedroom to ask for mom's help. But his mom yelled at him and said she's busy... SLEEPING.
The next day...
"Dad, I now completely understand politics."
"Really? I'm so proud of you son. Then what is it?"
"The people is asking for the workers' help but the workers can't help them because the government is screwing them, yet the administration sleeps over it. As a result.. the youth is left full of s***."
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n3l02len
Global Moderator
China
1099 Posts |
Posted - 13/04/2005 : 06:55:29 AM
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histrionic ok yan ah.....may napulot talaga akong aral.....bwahahhaha
ako nmn ule.... hahaha nakuha lng din toh -paste ko na lng d2...wahahaha
Theme song of married couples...
1 to 10 years - Araw-araw gabi-gabi
11 to 25 years - Saan ka man naroon
26 to 49 years - Gaano kadalas ang Minsan
50 years and up - Maalaala mo kaya
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Ano sa Tagalog ang asawa? ("May bahay")
Ano naman ang kabit? ("May condo")
tawa nmn jan....hahaha
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 13/04/2005 : 12:23:17 PM
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dami niong baon jokes ah..
franz ms mgnda kng sa personal ung banana joke pra wd action hehe
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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histrionic
Superstar
Philippines
1320 Posts |
Posted - 18/04/2005 : 4:29:34 PM
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oi yen,hanggang ngayon di mo pa nasasabi sakin yung banana joke mo ah,...JANUARY pa yun ha!!!,..haha =),..
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 his new car,..mas mahal pa daw nya yan kesa sakin,..taeness!!!,..hehe,.. |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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ewan
Star of all Season
793 Posts |
Posted - 20/04/2005 : 6:43:28 PM
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KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin
natin?"
KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala
parin siya!
Sana naman wlang nangyaring masama sa kanya."
Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili nako ng hearing aid.
Grabe! Ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang.
LOLO: Gino paabot nga ng kape ko
APO: Lo, Gina po
LOLO: Gino paabot nga ng kutchara
APO: Lo, Gina po
LOLO: Punyeta ka Gino! Tigil-tigilan mo yang kabaklaan mo!
Teacher: Ano ang formula ng water?
Erap: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: BAKIT YAN AT MALING-MALI?
Erap: hindi ba H to O? e di H I J K L M N O.
MISTER: pag namatay ka, isusulat ko sa nitso mo "MALAMIG NUNG
BUHAY, MAS MALAMIG NUNG MAMATAY!"
MISIS: Ah ganun?! sa nitso mo naman "SA WAKAS NANIGAS DIN!"
WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko.
Sabi nya "GO TO HELL", kaya ito uwi agad ako..
Lasing (takot): may multo sa banyo natin!
Wife: Ha? Bakit?
Lasing: kasi bumubukas yung ilaw pag papasok ako ng banyo
eh.
Wife: punyeta ka! ikaw pala umiihi sa ref!
Juan: bday ng asawa ko
Pedro: ano regalo mo?
Juan: tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya
P: ano naman sinabi?
J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.
P: ano binigay mo?
J: Baraha.
Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not true! My dad says we are descendants of
an Ape!
Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!
RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA: we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA: u can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!
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ewan
Star of all Season
793 Posts |
Posted - 20/04/2005 : 6:54:13 PM
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Eto pang isa…..
Isang umaga , bago magmisa si Padre Lucio, nilagay niya sa supot ang
Mga binili niyang mga itlog para sa donasyon niya sa mga mahihirap. Ngunit
Sa kanyang pagmamadali, nakalimutan niya ang supot sa isang mesa at ng
Kanyang binalikan ay wala na ito.
Kaya sa kanyang sermon ay nagtanong siya..."Meron ba sa inyong may itlog?"
Lahat ng lalaki sa simbahan ay nagtayuan...
"Hindi! Hindi! Ang ibig kong sabihin, may nakakita ba ng itlog?"
Lahat ng babae sa simbahan ay nagtayuan...
"Hindi! Hindi! Ang ibig kong sabihin, may nakakita ba ng itlog ko?"
Lahat ng madre sa simbahan ay nagtayuan.
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Nagpa-blood test si Tulume. Kumuha ng sample ang nars. Pagkatapos,
Walang makitang bulak ang nars sinipsip ng nars ang daliri ni Tulume.
Naligayahan si Tulume kaya sinabihan niya ang nars, "Magpapa-urine test din ako."
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Bumisita si GMA sa Mental Hospital at kinausap ang isang pasyente.
GMA: Kilala mo ba ako? Ako ang Presidente.
PASYENTE: Naku ale, ng una akong pumasok dito ganyan din ang sinasabi
ko. Pero wag kang mag alala, mahuhusay ang mga doktor dito, gagaling ka
rin.
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Balete Drive Story
There was this guy named MARK. One night, he was walking all alone sa
Balete Drive (eh di ba, that road is infamous for having ghosts daw,
White ladies and stuff??) Tapos sobrang dilim ng paligid, walang
katao-tao...tapos habang naglalakad siya, may narinig siyang tumawag sa
name niya... "MARK! MARK! MARK!" Lumingon siya, pero, WALANG TAO!!!
Binilisan niya yung lakad, tapos may tumatawag pa rin sa kanya!!!
"MARK! MARK! MARK!" Lumingon siya pero WALA PA RIN!!! Tumakbo na siya pero
hinahabol pa rin siya talaga ng boses! "MARK! MARK! MARK!"
When he got to the corner of Balete Drive and E. Rodriguez he saw a
Large sign, and written on it, in LARGE BOLD LETTERS...
"BEWARE... NGONGONG ASO"
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Jinggoy: Dad totoo bang may side effect ang Viagra?
Erap: Tanga, sa harap ang effect niyan hindi sa side.
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Jinggoy: Dad totoo bang si Tirso Cruz III ay pangatlo na sa mga Tirso Cruz?
Erap: Tanga, pang 5 na siya kaya nga PIP ang palayaw nya.
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Sexy woman nagkukumpisal sa simbahan
Sexy : Those are all my sins, Father. I hope God will forgive me.
Priest : He does, my child. Pero ikwento mo nga uli yung tungkol sa
Blowjob at 69.
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Nagkita ang pari at madre sa isang seminar
Pari : Ano ang apelyido mo, Sister?
Madre : Hulaan mo, hinahawakan mo gabi-gabi.
Pari : Titi ?!!
Madre : Susmaryosep! Rosario po ang apelyido ko!
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YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was raped.
TODAY'S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in that park.
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A young girl confesses, "Forgive me father, for i have sinned. The
Priest says, "Confess your sins now and be forgiven." "The other night, my
boyfriend made passionate love to me eight times." The priest paused
for a while, then said, "Take eight lemons and squeeze them into a glass and
then drink the juice." The young woman asked, "Through this, will my sin be
forgiven?" "No, but it will surely remove that smile from your face."
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Man 1: Pare, ano ang ikinamatay mo?
Man 2: Inatake ako sa puso. Akala ko kasi, nagtataksil ang misis ko
Kaya bigla akong umuwi, at nadatnan kong hubad siya. Naghanap ako sa buong
bahayan, pero wala akong nakita. Sa pagsisisi ko at sama ng loob, ako'y
inatake sa puso. Ikaw pare, ano ang ikanamatay mo?
Man 1: Namatay ako sa lamig.
Man 2: Ano? Bakit naman?
Man 1: Bigla kasing umuwi ang aking kumpare at nagtago ako sa
refrigerator. Kung binuksan mo sana ang ref, malamang pareho pa tayong buhay ngayon!
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A camel and an elephant met. The elephant asked the camel "Why do you
Have your breasts on your back?"
The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies, "What a
silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"
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An Interview....
A family researcher: sir, sino pong decision maker sa inyong tahanan?
Husband: dear, sino raw ang naagdedesisyon dito sa bahay?
Wife: eh, di siempre ikaw.
Husband: ako raw po, sabi ni misis.
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Now, I believe....
Joe: my wife got me to believe in religion.
Max: really?
Joe: yeah, until i married her, i didn't believe in hell.
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Second Opinion:
Psychiatrist: you're going crazy.
Patient: i want a second opinion.
Psychiatrist: and you're also ugly.
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A High I.Q......
Son: where did all my intelligence come from?
Dad: well son, maybe from your mother because i still have mine.
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Does Not Matter...
Girl (crying)... huhuhu..kaya mo lang pala ako pakakasalan dahil sa
mamanahin kong kayamanan sa tatay ko.
Boy: hindi, darling. Pakakasalan naman kita kahit hindi sa tatay mo
nanggaling ang kayamanan.
----------------------------------------
Bagong Organization...
U.H.A.W....union of husbands afraid of wives.
----------------------------------------
True Bravery is...
when you arrive home late after a boys' night out and you are met by
your wife waiting with a broom.
you ask: are you still cleaning??
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ewan
Star of all Season
793 Posts |
Posted - 20/04/2005 : 7:16:57 PM
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Battle of the Brainless
>Host: What "N" (narra) is the
> >national tree of the Philippines?
> >
> >Contestant: Niyog?
> >Host: Mas matigas pa diyan.
> >
> >Contestant: (in a strong-sounding voice) NIYOG!!!
> >
> >Host: Saan "B" (Bagumbayan) binaril si Jose Rizal?
> >Contestant: Sa back?
> >
> >Host: O sige, puwede rin na ang simula ay letter "L" (Luneta).
> >
> >Contestant: Likod?
> >Host: Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, "R.P." ang initials ng modern
> >name nito(Rizal Park).
> >
> >Contestant: Rear Part? (Susme! Likod pa rin yun!)
> >
> >Host: Saan "B" (beach) tayo madalas pumunta pag summer upang
maligo?
> >Contestant: Banyo?
> >
> >Host: Hindi, pag pumunta ka
> >doon, maaarawan ka.
> >
> >Contestant: Bubong?
> >
> >Host: Hindi, marami kang makikita duong mga babaeng naka-bikini.
> >
> >Contestant: Beerhouse!
> >
> >Host: Anong "L" (Lifeguard) ang tawag sa tao na sumasagip sa iyo pag
> >ikaw aynalulunod?
> >Contestant: Lifebuoy?
> >
> >Host: Hindi, pero kahawig nga ng pangalan ng sabon ang pangalan ng
ito.
> >
> >Contestant : Safeguard?
> >
> >Host:Hindi, pagsamahin mo yung dalawang sagot mo.
> >
> >Contestant : Safe Buoy?
> >
> >Host: Hindi siya "boy"
> >at matipuno nga ang kaniyang
> >katawan.
> >
> >Contestant: Ah, Mr. Clean!
> >
> >Host: Anong "S" (Salbabida) ang ginagamit na flotation device sa
> >dagat upang hindi ka malunod?
> >
> >Contestant: Sirena?
> >
> >Host: Hindi! Hindi ito babae.
> >
> >Contestant: Siyokoy?
> >
> >Host: Hindi ito lalake.
> >
> >Contestant: Siyoke?
> >
> >Host: What "S" (Sampaguita) is the national flower of the
Philippines?
> >
> >Contestant: Sunflower?
> >
> >Host: Hindi. Binebenta ito sa kalye.
> >
> >Contestant: Stork?
> >
> >Host: Hindi. Bulaklak sabi eh.
> >
> >Contestant: Sitsarong bulaklak?
> >
> >Host: Hindi pa rin. It ends with a letter "A".
> >
> >Contestant: Sitsarong bulaklak na may suka?
> >
> >Host: Oh, para madali, uulitin ko ang clues at dadagdagan ko pa!
> >Anong pangalan ng bulaklak na nagsisimula sa "S", nagtatapos sa
> >letrang "A", at kapangalan ng isang sikat na singer?
> >
> >Contestant: Si...Sharon Cuneta!
> >
> >Host: Sino ang kauna-unahang Chess Grandmaster (Eugene Torre) of
Asia?
> >
> >Contestant: Carole KING?
> >
> >Host:Hindi, mas mababa sa king.
> >
> >Contestant: Al QUINN?
> >Host: Hindi, tagalog ang apelyido niya.
> >
> >Contestant: Armida Siguion-REYNA?
> >
> >Host: Hindi pa rin. Mas mababa sa reyna.
> >
> >Contestant: BISHOP Bacani?
> >Host: Mas mababa sa bishop.
> >
> >Contestant: Johnny MidNIGHT?
> >
> >Host: Mas mababa sa Knight.
> >
> >Contestant: Jerry PONS?
> >
> >Host: Oh, ayan na, nabanggit mo na lahat ng piyesa sa Chess. Yung
> >kahuli-hulihang piyesa na lang.
> >
> >Contestant: Sylvia laTORRE!
> >
> >Host: Sino ang national hero na naka-picture sa 500 Peso bill?
> >Clue,may initials na N.A. (Ninoy Aquino)
> >
> >Contestant:Nora Aunor?
> >
> >Host: Hindi. Ang pangalan niya ay nage-end sa "Y".
> >
> >Contestant: Guy Aunor?
> >
> >Host: Hindi.Dati siyang Senador.
> >
> >Contestant: Si Former Senator Guy Aunor?
> >
> >Host: Hindi. Patay na siya.
> >
> >Contestant: ANO??!! PATAY NA SI NORA AUNOR???!!!
> >
> >One more dagdag:
> >
> >Host: What "K" (kalabaw) is the national animal of the Philippines?
> >
> >Contestant: Kuto?
> >
> >Host: Hinde. Clue, it tills the land.
> >
> >Contestant: Kutong Lupa!
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 20/04/2005 : 11:59:16 PM
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hahahahah.. tangna ayosss c ewan sakit ng chan ko
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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histrionic
Superstar
Philippines
1320 Posts |
Posted - 21/04/2005 : 1:22:43 PM
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putris na mga jowk iyan ah,...=)
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his new car,..mas mahal pa daw nya yan kesa sakin,..taeness!!!,..hehe,.. |
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Miss Wa
Diamond Star
Germany
452 Posts |
Posted - 29/04/2005 : 12:04:41 PM
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bwahahahaaa langya ka tlaga ewan sa kalokohan wehehee...isa pa nga...
"I don't understand how someone can MAKE love without BEING in love."
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Joke Time!!!
