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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
Posted - 27/04/2006 : 10:15:03 AM
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| hahahhaha! uu nga naman |
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�Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.�
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see-j
Diamond Star
China
447 Posts |
Posted - 30/04/2006 : 12:50:27 PM
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true nga naman. hehehe
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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet,
not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250!"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and
the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold."
A few days later, the father says to the boy...
"Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...
that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy
sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again, you're in my closet now." |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
Posted - 02/05/2006 : 5:08:00 PM
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| hahahahhaahhaahhahaha!!!! |
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�Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.�
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see-j
Diamond Star
China
447 Posts |
 Posted - 21/06/2006 : 1:40:03 PM
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NEW DRUGS SOLD IN THE MARKET
MENICILLIN - Potent antibiotic for older women.
Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
BUYAGRA - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
EXTRA STRENGTH BUY-ONE-ALL - When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy,
so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
JACK ASSPIRIN - Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember
your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT - A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone
too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
SEXCEDRIN - Bedroom aerosol spray for men.
More effective than Excedrin in treating the,
"Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
RAGAMET - When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend,
saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
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ioj
Global Moderator
Qatar
697 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 7:47:23 PM
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 HOW TO POOP AT WORK
We've all been there but don't like to admit it.
We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly
felt something brewing down below. As much
as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK
POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at
work, following is the Survival Guide for taking
a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk really fast around the office
so the smell is not in your area and everyone else
gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came
from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until
the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30
feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping.
Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are
others in the bathroom, leave and come back
again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER.
People may become suspicious if they catch you
constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the
urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually
accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment.
If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.
Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next
to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear
it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for
all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a
machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of
diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen,
do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has
left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of
what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop
hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time
the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help
you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after
you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a
very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and
busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that
the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use
of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it.
You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter
the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their
arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of
The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure
emergency pooping goes off without incident. This
group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out
Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where
you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are
predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce
the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the
bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall
and tries to force the door open. This is one of the
most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur
when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in
the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you
will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the
bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to
cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd
Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction
with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will
remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you
hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the
pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON
A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the
toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident.
If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a
diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANAOMELET
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud
splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an
Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the
mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted
makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as
you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is
empty. This benefits you as well as the other
bathroom attendees.
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 8:18:56 PM
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| hahahah tlgang may survival guide ka pa sa pagtatae kuya ah |
-----------------------------------------------------
 
http://thecamwhore.blogspot.com |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
Posted - 04/07/2006 : 09:41:28 AM
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| gawain mo ata yan ioj hahaha! |
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�Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.�
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ioj
Global Moderator
Qatar
697 Posts |
Posted - 04/07/2006 : 12:03:46 PM
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| hahaha... hate to admit it but i've done it a few times at work... pero in my case, I am always alone sa office... hehehehe.... |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2006 : 5:00:22 PM
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wahahaha umamin ka rin
My father, a gravedigger, was told to prepare for a funeral. But on the day of the service, it was discovered that he had dug up the wrong plot. Luckily for him, the deceased's daughter was very understanding. "Poor Dad," she lamented. "He always complained he could never find a parking space." |
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�Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.�
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2006 : 5:03:05 PM
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The other day, I came home to find my wife, Jennifer, in tears.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Quinn used the F word." She was referring to our three-year-old.
"You mean#65533;"
"Yes. She called me Fat!" |
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�Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.�
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see-j
Diamond Star
China
447 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2006 : 07:23:11 AM
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One morning, my son asked me: "Daddy, how did I come into this world?"
"Well, someday i'll have to tell you anyway", i said.
"Why not today, dad? Please"
"Ok, but listen carefully son."
"Mom and dad met each other in a cyber cafe. In the restroom of that cyber cafe,
dad connected to mom. Mom at that time made some downloads from dad's memory stick.
When dad finished uploading, we discovered we used no firewall.
It was too late to cancel or delete, so nine months later,
we ended up with a virus." |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2006 : 08:16:03 AM
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| hahahhaa! |
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
�Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.�
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kamot
Global Moderator
173 Posts |
Posted - 15/07/2006 : 05:41:19 AM
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before
After
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kRiSTiNnE
Superstar
Virgin Islands (United Kingdom)
1064 Posts |
Posted - 15/07/2006 : 11:01:33 AM
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| bat iisa ang ngiti mo dyan kamot?? |
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kamot
Global Moderator
173 Posts |
Posted - 15/07/2006 : 7:36:34 PM
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| bakit ano pa bang ngiti ang gusto? |
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Topic |
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Joke Time!!!
