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ayrin
Star Bright
94 Posts |
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2005 : 6:09:47 PM
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hahaha ok ah
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 =Cry for ANY and EVERY reason.. sometimes, it feels good to cry..= |
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see-j
Diamond Star
China
447 Posts |
 Posted - 03/12/2005 : 05:13:21 AM
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A cute old lady goes to the doctor and said,
"Doc, I have this problem on gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. It never smells and is always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because it doesn't smell and is silent."
The doctor, while writing some prescriptions said, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week, the lady returned.
"Doc, I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although silent stink terribly."
"Good!" the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up you sinuses, let's work with your hearing."
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GeRbEr4aDuLtS
Superstar
1719 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2005 : 08:24:40 AM
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Husband Wanted
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.
She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell.
Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.
He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?
Just look at you....you have no legs!"
The old man smiled,
"Therefore I cannot run around on you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
"Wisdom enters not a malicious mind, as well as Love enters not a selfish heart."
~anonymous |
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see-j
Diamond Star
China
447 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2005 : 09:04:55 AM
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Edited by - see-j on 03/12/2005 09:11:04 AM |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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GeRbEr4aDuLtS
Superstar
1719 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 08:54:13 AM
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"Ang tamang pagkwento ng masamang balita"
KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....
"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung
katiwala niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."
"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May
problema ba?"
"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na
namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."
"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa
bird show?"
"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."
"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko
sa ibong 'yon. Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang
ikinamatay niya?"
"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."
"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang
nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"
"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay
na kabayo."
"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr Arnaldo?"
"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir.
Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng
kariton ng tubig."
"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng
tubbbiiiiggggg?"
"'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."
"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi
mo?"
"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po
'yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung
kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."
"Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa
bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para saan 'yung kandila?"
"Para sa burol po."
"Ano? Kaninong burol?"
"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito
nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas
hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."
"Wisdom enters not a malicious mind, as well as Love enters not a selfish heart."
~anonymous |
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boisaudi
Diamond Star
Saudi Arabia
211 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 09:08:49 AM
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PRIEST : hinabol ako ng babaeng maganda at hubad
ginawa ko, dinamitan ko agad!
Kung kayo po bishop, ano pong gagawin nyo?
BISHOP : Tulad mo , magsisinungaling din ako...!@>"#
-------------------------------------------------------
AMA : Buntis ang anak ko panagutan mo !
BF : May asawa po ako !
AMA : Pano to??
BF : Areglo na lang po 2 million pag lalaki
1 million pag babae.
AMA : Ok!, pero pag nakunan give her another
CHANCE ha?@u}<"
-----------------------------------------------------
4 Types of Women During SEX
1. ASMATIC : ah...ahhh..ahhh.
2. OBEDIENT : yes,....yes... yesss...
3. UNSATISFIED : more. more.. more..
4. RELIGIOUS : GAd! Oh GAd! pakisaGAD!!!! 
----------------------------------------------------
Sa prusisyon...
PARI : ang mga lalaki, sunod sa caro ni san jose,
ang mga babae sa caro ni Mama mary.
MGA BAKLA : kami father saan po kami sasabay ?
PARI : Mga SIS Follow me !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
------- J O K E O N L Y ------
P.U.S.H Pray Until Something Happen |
Edited by - boisaudi on 05/12/2005 09:13:20 AM |
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see-j
Diamond Star
China
447 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 12:16:10 PM
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| (tamang pagkwento sa masamang balita) pero grabeng malas naman non! |
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GeRbEr4aDuLtS
Superstar
1719 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 1:48:26 PM
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Assorted Kind of Jokes
Blind Man
Five ladies volunteered to paint a room one summer at a local nursing home. It was a really hot day and the ladies were getting really hot while working, so they took off all their clothes and went on painting naked. Suddenly, they heard a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" One lady asked.
A man answered, "I'm the blind man".
So, the ladies decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them. The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said, "Ahem. Excuse me, where do you want these blinds??"
Quiet
A Sunday school teacher asked the children, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One child replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Luxury Cruise
A luxury cruise liner passes by a small island in the south Pacific. All the passengers are startled when they see a scrawny, bearded man waving his arms and shouting frantically.
"Who is that?" a passenger asks the captain.
The captain replies, "I don't know. But every year when we pass, he gets all crazy like that."
"Wisdom enters not a malicious mind, as well as Love enters not a selfish heart."
~anonymous |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 2:03:06 PM
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WAHAHAHA sa joke ni boi
maya na ako magbasa ng joke mo gerber
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
BABALA SA MGA NAKIKIGAMIT NG AKING KUBETA
 
http://malaine.blogspot.com
http://360.yahoo.com/malaine_leano |
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boisaudi
Diamond Star
Saudi Arabia
211 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 2:06:00 PM
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Girl's reaction to
size: 9 : ohhhs***! sakit..
size: 7 : hmmm. sarap..
size: 6 : wow! perfect..
size: 5 : hmm.. ok..
size: 4 : idiin mo pa!
size: 3 : in na ba?
size: 2 : dilaan mo na lang! punyeta ka ...
P.U.S.H Pray Until Something Happen |
Edited by - boisaudi on 05/12/2005 2:07:38 PM |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 5:40:29 PM
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hahaha.. pwde na kyo komedyante
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=Cry for ANY and EVERY reason.. sometimes, it feels good to cry..= |
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GeRbEr4aDuLtS
Superstar
1719 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 3:57:29 PM
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para sa mga mahilig magpaganda
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, brow lift, lip enhancement, boob job, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital and while crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by a bus. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the bus?" God replied, "Girrrlllllll, I didn't even recognize you!"
"Wisdom enters not a malicious mind, as well as Love enters not a selfish heart."
~anonymous |
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Joke Time!!!
