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Miss Wa
Diamond Star
Germany
452 Posts |
 Posted - 18/03/2005 : 1:02:52 PM
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Girl's Prayer
Dasal ng mga babae:
Sa edad na 20-"Lord, I want the best man"
Sa edad na 25-"Lord, I want the good man"
Sa edad na 35-"Lord, I want any man"
Sa edad na 40-"Lord, please naman...."
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The Filipino invented acronyms
HOLLAND- Hope Our Love Last And Never Dies
ITALY- I Trust And Love You
LIBYA- Love Is Beautiful; You Also
CHINA- Come Here..I Need Affection
FRANCE-Friendships Remain And Never Can End
INDIA- I Nearly Died In Adoration
EGYPT- Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
KENYA- Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing
CANADA- Cute And Naughty Action that Develop into Attraction
RUSSIA- Romance Under the Sky & Stars is Intimate Always
MANILA- May All Nights Inspire Love Always
BALIWAG- Beauty And Love I Will Always Give
MALABON- May A Lasting Affairs Be Ours Now
IMUS- I Miss U, Sweetheart
PASIG- Please Always Say I'm Gorgeous
TONDO- Tonight's Our Night, Dearest One.
PASAY- Pretty And Sexy Are You
YAMAHA- You Are My Angel! Happy Anniversary
YEMEN- Yugyugan Every Morning, Every Night
And my personal favorite acronym..
PHILIPPINES- Pumping Hot...I Love It! Please Please.. I Need Erotic Stimulation.
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Q: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng talong sa kalabasa?
A: Ang kalabasa pampalinaw ng mata, ang talong pampatirik ng mata!!
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LOVE
Lovelines through the years
1950s -- Iniirog kita.
1960s -- Iniibig kita.
1970s -- Minamahal kita.
1980s -- I love you.
1990s -- Tara sa kwarto.
2000s -- Pwede na rito.
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AYOKO NA
Ayoko nang magpakasal sa iyo,
Dahil pag kasal na tayo, dapat kong gamitin ang sa iyo.
Hindi ko kaya,masyadong mahaba, mahihirapan ako.
Ngawit at ngalay na ang kamay ko,
hindi pa tapos ang ipagagawa mo.
Mantakin mo...
Garchitorina de Misericordia y Aguardecimiento,
sobrang haba ng apelyido mo!
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DUDA
DENTIST: Hiwalay na tayo. Nagdududa na ang Mister mo.
BABAE: But I love you.
DENTIST: Sorry, sweetheart, ubos nang "alibi" mo. Isang NGIPIN na
lang ang natitira sa iyo!
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SINAMPAL
Wife sinampal ang asawa.
Wife: Sino si Jasmine sa panaginip mo?
Husband: Yung kabayong bet ko sa karera!
NEXT DAY...sinampal ulit.
Husband: baket?
Wife: Tumawag ang kabayo mo!
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INGAT
Sabi nila nauubos na raw ang mga puno, isda at ibon
sa mundo. Ang masakit pa rito ay dahan-dahan daw
namamatay ang mga ungg%y. Kaya naalala agad kita...
ingat ka ha?
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SONG TITLES TRANSLATION
Imagine -- Mantakin Mo
Bluer Than Blue -- Malapit Na Sa Hukay
Too Young -- Nakana Mo Batang-bata
Tonight's The Night -- Patay Kang Bata Ka
Hey Jude -- Hoy Hudas!
Power Of Love -- Buntis
How Deep Is Your Love -- Gaano Kalalim Yang Sayo
Three Times A Lady -- Super Bakla
More Than A Woman -- Tomboy (T-Bird)
Can't Be With You Tonight -- Meron Ako Ngayon
Sometimes When We Touch -- Minsan Kapag Tayo'y Naghihipuan
Touch Me In The Morning -- Hipuan Mo Ko Sa Umaga
Hurt So Good -- Array, Araa...ay Sarrap!
I Left My Heart In San Francisco -- Walang Puso
King And Queen Of Hearts -- Tong-it N! a Ko Sa Jack
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Waitress: How do you want your EGGS done, Sirs?
American: I want my eggs fried.
Japanese: I want it boiled.
Pinoy: Ala eh! Sa kin, hawakan mo na lang, masarap na yaan!
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Dalawang mag-barkada nag-uusap:
Mike: Bakit lumaki yung paa ni Amy?
Jun: Sinipa yung punso!
Mike: Bakit lumaki yung nguso ni Fe?
Jun: Dinuraan yung punso. O pare saan ka pupunta?
Mike: Iihi sa punso!
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Losing your teeth will lessen your sexual drive,
according to old Pilipino chinese saying..
"Pak ikaw wala ipen, Wala kan-tooth"
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A wife wanted to scare her alcoholic husband. One night, he comes
home dead drunk, she dresses up as satan?
Husband : Shhino ka? (hik)
Wife : Si S~tan~s! Kukunin ko na kita!
Husband : Huwag mo akong takutin? asawa ko ang kapatid mo!
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ACCOUNTING TERMS - PINOY STYLE
1. Asset — Ari
2. Fixed Asset — Aring Nakatirik
3. Liquid Asset — Aring Tumutulo
4. Written-off Asset — Aring Pinutol
5. Cut-off time — Oras ng Pagputol
6. Depreciation — Pagkalaspag ng Ari
7. Fully Depreciated Asset — Aring Laspag na Laspag na
8. Earning Asset — Aring Ganado Pa
9. Non-Earning Asset — Aring Baldado na
10. Owned Asset — Sariling Ari
11. Other Asset — Ari ng Iba
12. Miscellaneous Asset — Mga Aring Pinagsamasama
13. Erroneous Entry — Mali ang Pagkapasok
14. Double Entry — Dalawa ang Pinasukan
15. Multiple Entry — Labas-pasok
16. Correcting Entry — Itinama ang Pagpasok
17. Reversing Entry — Baligtad ang Pasok
18. Tangible Asset — Aring Nasasalat
19. Dispensed — Nilabasan
20. Undispensed — Hindi Nilabasan
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BABY TALK
LETS TALK ABOUT BABIES.....Kapag umiiyak ang baby -- i PAMPERS mo,
Kapag
umiiyak pa rin -- i KIMBIES mo, Pag ayaw pa ring tumigil sa pag-iyak
aba'y........ i HUGGIES mo na!!
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A soldier died. Wife is crying during burial when
flag was given to her. She said,"Aanhin ko paang watawat
na 'to kung wala na ang flagpole ko!"
Hu...hu...hu...
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LOTTO
HUSBAND: (SHOUTING!) Honey, mag-empake ka na,
nanalo ako sa lotto.
WIFE: Wow! Anong dadalhin ko?
HUSBAND: Wala akong pakialam, basta lumayas ka na!
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"I don't understand how someone can MAKE love without BEING in love."
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Edited by - Miss Wa on 18/03/2005 3:55:12 PM |
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 18/03/2005 : 1:50:08 PM
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
TANGNA TAWANG TAWA NA NAMAN AKO... |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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Miss Wa
Diamond Star
Germany
452 Posts |
Posted - 19/03/2005 : 12:25:08 PM
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hehe si yen kung makahalakhak abot d2 grabeeee....
"I don't understand how someone can MAKE love without BEING in love."
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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Miss Wa
Diamond Star
Germany
452 Posts |
Posted - 20/03/2005 : 4:17:33 PM
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buti nalang pinatay ko tong speaker kundi...
"I don't understand how someone can MAKE love without BEING in love."
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 20/03/2005 : 5:19:30 PM
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e bkt ba masaya lng ako s mga jokes ni miss wa
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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Miss Wa
Diamond Star
Germany
452 Posts |
Posted - 21/03/2005 : 12:07:05 AM
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abay malay ko sayo...baka me kras ka sakin wahahahaaa...
"I don't understand how someone can MAKE love without BEING in love."
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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histrionic
Superstar
Philippines
1320 Posts |
Posted - 21/03/2005 : 4:13:22 PM
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hahaha!!!,..lupit!,..
flagpole, duda, love tsaka yung translations,..more!!! more!!!,..:)
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...The Perfect Match... |
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Miss Wa
Diamond Star
Germany
452 Posts |
Posted - 22/03/2005 : 12:16:57 AM
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o laway mo tumatalsik na...
eto pa oh...
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A lady goes to the dentist. Takes off her panties and spreads her legs.
Dentist: Mam di po ako ob-gyne!
Lady: IKAW GUMAWA NG PUSTISO NG MISTER KO, NGAYON TANGGALIN MO!!
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Bading nasa meatshop...
BADING: Pabili nga ng 1 whole German sausage.
TINDERA:Chop-chopin ko na?
BADING:Wag!!! Anong kala mo sa pwet ko alkansya?!
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Cheap Style
WOMAN TO DOCTOR: Thank you for making me a virgin again for my wedding night. It was perfect, the blood the pain and it only costs P50. How did you do it?/
DOCTOR: I tied your pubic hair together.
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LOLA
LOLA : Paraaaa!!!
DRIVER : Bakit po, lola?
LOLA : I-ihi ako!
DRIVER : Sabi nyo i-ihi lang kayo e ba't umutot pa kayo?
LOLA : Tutoy, pag may ulan, may kulog!!!!
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BEST HUSBAND.
Panandero-masarap lumamutak
Hinente-Magaling pumatong
Bata Reyes-palaging pasok sa butas!
Karpintero-Mahusay sa pukpukan
Chatter-gusto laging fingeran
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mahal ng diyos
Talagang mas ng diyos ang mga lalaki WHY? Binigyan na ng dalawang ITLOG dinagdagan pa ng HOTDOG! Samantalang sa babae TINAPAY lang hinati pa, tapos palaman MANI!
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DERMATOLOGIST: Mam,Mukha yatang mahirap tanggalin tong mga wrinkles sa mukha mo...kulubot na ang mukha mo, your face is already sagging.
Lady: Mahilig kasi akong kumain ng saging eh!
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What did the napkin say to the utot? You are the wind beneath my wings.
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Guy goes to a dentist office, sits down in the chair, takes out his dick.
Doc: What are you doing? I'm a dentist!
Guy: There's a tooth in there!
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Combo Meals:
SINGIT -- SINnangaG at ITlog
PWET -- Pinakbet With Ensaladang Talong
TINGIL -- TINortang Galunggong In Lard
FININGER -- FIsh Nuggets IN GingER sauce
TITI -- TInapay at TInapa
*beep* -- PUto with Keso
PAKANTUT -- PAnsit KANton with TUTsie roll
SALSAL -- SALmon with SALabat
TSUPA -- TSUkolate at PAndesal
PAKAPLOG -- PAndesal KAPe at itLOG
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Mga tipo ng babae habang nakikipag-sex:
Submissive - "Bahala ka na, ipasok mo na"
Enduring - "Aray! Sige pa, kaya ko pa."
Scandalous - "P*tangina mo, sige pa!"
Unsatisfied - "Ano ba `yan? Idiin mo pa kaya, `no?"
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"I don't understand how someone can MAKE love without BEING in love."
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Edited by - Miss Wa on 22/03/2005 01:37:51 AM |
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ewan
Star of all Season
793 Posts |
Posted - 22/03/2005 : 01:04:11 AM
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oh luga mo lumalabas na rin
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 26/03/2005 : 12:03:11 PM
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pti tae isama nio na
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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malaine
Global Moderator
Saint Barthelemy
6003 Posts |
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bebe_gurl
Global Moderator
Christmas Island
4520 Posts |
Posted - 28/03/2005 : 08:22:51 AM
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natatae ako sa pagmu2ka ni ewan
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=The Only Abnormality Is The Incapacity To Love...= |
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Joke Time!!!
